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I Work Here Because…

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SOURCE One Short, Simple Mental Exercise for Work-Changing Results mo·tive  [moh-tiv] noun 1. something that causes a person to act in a certain way, do a certain thing, etc. Your motive is directly related to your motivation at work. Although this may seem like an obvious concept, if you take a step back and reflect on your motive, you begin to see how compounded and cluttered your motivation can become. For instance, answer this one simple question: Why do you work where you work? Can you fill in this blank: “I work here because…” If you’re struggling to answer these questions, first off, you’re not alone. Secondly, you might want to do some basic soul-searching. According to researchers at Portland State University and the University of Michigan, reflecting on the meaning of your work (your motive) is one of the most effective ways to keep your energy up at work. Once you figure out the “why”, write it down, post it somewhere around your desk, in your car or a...
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Words "Not-So-Normal" People Want to Be Told

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Try it for a change. Speak with kindness and acceptance, or at least with an open mind. Say, “you're amazing,” or “awesome,” “fabulous,” or some other equally pleasing adjective of your choice. Do not qualify your compliment with a but or an even if, and mean it. I love you son, you are as perfect as you were when you were born. There's nothing wrong with you, but a lot wrong with the world for not loving you the way I do. You're just like me, son, strong and brave. You're just like your mother, kind and beautiful. But I'd rather be like you in the way you’ve faced everyone, even me, when I’ve tried to sway you into becoming what you're not. Apologies and fears Say sorry. Because there's always something to be sorry for, even if it's an unspoken word or an acknowledged sentiment. Sorry I didn't want to listen to you before and sorry if I didn't know what to say. Sorry for my silence, for hoping "it" would pass or would...
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Master of Deceit (An Excerpt)

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It begins in the morning even before he sees another person. Every day, he gets up and looks at his wardrobe the way no one else does. There's a section of clothes he's more comfortable wearing, and a category of clothes that won't be so "obvious." He picks the latter.  After all, it's a work day. He's practiced a tone of voice that's more acceptable. It's the one he's honed in private as soon as he noticed that his slight inflection as a child raised eyebrows and caused relatives to push him to play more with other boys. He's roughened his movements and tightened the grip of his handshake. Everyday he struts a walk that says, "Don't mess with me," but deep inside it says, I have secrets. Please leave me alone. He has no choice when his father says, "Wala tayong lahing bakla (Being gay is not in our blood)." He has no options when his mother says, "You have to carry on the family name." His brothe...
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Ten Signs

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Read Stumbling on Happiness .   Over the course of my lifetime I have had many friends, family and loved one whom I had to say goodbye to. Sometimes I was the one being left behind. Sometimes I did the leaving such as occurred with my ex. Sometimes we both did the leaving such as with some of my friends. The pain of letting go is not imaginary. It’s physical. Even when both parties agree it’s time to let go, the pain is still there. Letting go is tough because the mind with its discernment of “it’s time!” can be out of sync with the heart which loves without judgment or reserve. There are two aspects to master when letting go of someone. The first is an emotional/chemical aspect. Just because the other person that you’ve loved has turned into an abusing bastard the heart doesn’t flip a switch and stop loving. This can be a physically painful time. The brain has been creating chemicals associated with the feelings of love generated with an energetic link to the loved one....
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Location: Cavite City, Philippines
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The Second Monday: KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING

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     I drove into Tony’s driveway at 8:20. I was pouring down rain again, and I waited for a couple of minutes before I dashed toward Tony’s house. He smiled as he opened the door just ahead of my swift trot into his foyer. “Welcome,” he said. And good job! You made it with time to spare, and the weather is much worse than last week. Thanks for coming to my home, Jeff! “And it looks like you learned something about the responsibility last week since you made some different decisions that allowed you to be here on time today,” he added with a smile. “Yes,” I agreed. “I learned to leave home earlier, but not sure I did very well with my people, Tony. I tried to accept total responsibility for everything happening in my department, but the rats won the race again next week. Honestly, I have so many things coming at me from so many different directions; it’s hard for me to get anything done… I mean done well.” “Tell me more,” he said, settling in...
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The First Monday : DRIVERS AND PASSENGERS (By David Cottrell)

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        It was a rainy, gloomy day when I left home for my first meeting with Tony. Frankly, I was somewhat cynical about whether meeting with Tony would really change things at work. At best, time with Tony would probably make me feel better about how things were going. I guess I really doubted he could do much to change how I managed. After all, I had worked for years for one of the best companies in the world and had been to numerous management development sessions. To no one’s surprise, the impact of these highly-touted training sessions never lasted more than a short time.           I had to keep on reminding myself—if things were great, I would have never called Tony in the first place. The truth was this: I was at a crossroads in my career. Deep down I knew that something was going to have to change, one way or another. “Get with it,” I chided myself. “Executives over the country ask fo...
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