The Second Monday: KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING

     I drove into Tony’s driveway at 8:20. I was pouring down rain again, and I waited for a couple of minutes before I dashed toward Tony’s house.

He smiled as he opened the door just ahead of my swift trot into his foyer.

“Welcome,” he said. And good job! You made it with time to spare, and the weather is much worse than last week. Thanks for coming to my home, Jeff!

“And it looks like you learned something about the responsibility last week since you made some different decisions that allowed you to be here on time today,” he added with a smile.

“Yes,” I agreed. “I learned to leave home earlier, but not sure I did very well with my people, Tony. I tried to accept total responsibility for everything happening in my department, but the rats won the race again next week. Honestly, I have so many things coming at me from so many different directions; it’s hard for me to get anything done… I mean done well.”

“Tell me more,” he said, settling into a comfortable winged-back chair.

“Well, I have fifteen people reporting to me,” I began. “I also have to two opened positions. Karen, my boss is demanding- and that’s putting it mildly! I’m confident all my people know what they’re supposed to be doing, but we seem to get less and less accomplished. We’ve spread out the responsibilities of the open positions to everyone on the team, but as soon as we put out one fire, another one pops up.”

As I continued to speak, Tony seemed to become agitated and restless. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“Well, Jeff, it appears to me that everything is a crisis to you,” he said. “Your job is not crisis management, and your people should not be firefighters. That said, I think there are some basic questions that require answers at this point:

•  Why do you have two open positions?
• Why did these team members leave?
• Why do you think everyone on your team knows what they’re supposed to be doing if they’re not doing it?
• What are your priorities?

“Wait. Don’t answer those questions now,” Tony said. “Just think about them before next week.

“Now, let me tell you about one of my experiences,” he continued. “I once worked with a manager who would remind us daily to ‘keep the main thing the main thing.’ The ‘main thing’ was our purpose or priority. Then he would ask us, ‘So, what is the main thing, this helped us focus on what is important.

“Actually, the main thing was really three things:

• Equip our employees with the tools to be successful.
• Provide outstanding service to our customers.
• Make a profit.

“If someone asked us to do something that was not a part of our main thing, our manager would support us when we said that we couldn’t get it done. We were focused and productive work group because there was a clear understanding of our purpose.”

Then he paused to let that sink in before he continued our meeting. “You mentioned that your people know what to do. Why don’t you ask them, ‘What is the main thing?’ They probably have different perceptions of what the main thing is.

“I have found that when you depend on another’s perceptions to match your expectations, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Ask some questions… you may be surprised by your team member’s answers.

“We’ll spend another Monday on the importance of hiring the right people for the team; but now, I think you should try to understand why people choose to leave your team. It’s a natural tendency (but not an accurate perception) to blame pay, benefits, upper management, salary administration, and other factors for someone’s resignation.

“Now listen carefully because I want to be very clear: People normally don’t leave because of those reasons. People leave because their manager is not meeting their needs. People quit people before they quit companies. I’m not saying that the case here; however, I am saying that in most instances the boss is the principle reason people resign.

“Speaking of the bosses, you said Karen is a demanding boss. That’s not a bad thing necessarily. I’ve heard many bosses called much worse. So how would you describe your relationship with Karen?”

“Well, that’s just it. We really don’t have much of a relationship. We have monthly meetings and that’s about it. Karen is demanding because she’s extremely results focused and is always requesting reports and information. I think she tends to get in our way.”

“What are your expectations of Karen?” Tony asked.

“I think she should be a better leader. She should take the time to meet with me, provide recognition for my team, communicate with me and me better at my job. After all, she’s supposed to be my mentor. She doesn’t do any of that- she’s only interested in reports and results.”

“Jeff, you’re probably right. Maybe she should do a better job in those areas. Regardless, you still have fifteen people depending on you to develop a positive relationship with Karen. Your job is to inform her about what is going on in your department and achieve results. These are not options. For you to be successful and provide your employees with the necessary tools for them to be successful, you and your boss must work together – no matter what.

“I can understand why you think it’s Karen’s responsibility to develop a positive relationship with you – and you’re right. However, if it’s not happening, it’s up to you to make some changes to make it happen.

“I suggest that you take time to manage your boss the same way you manage your subordinates. Find out specifically what she needs from you and tell her specifically what you need from her. Do you know what her main things are? Does she know what your main things are? It may be worth a meeting to understand what both of you can do to help each other accomplish your main things.

“Okay, Jeff. Our time is about over for this week’s meeting; so what are you going to do differently before next Monday?” Tony asked.

“Clearly, I think you’re right about my team not knowing what the main thing is,” I volunteered. “In fact, I’m not sure/know what the main thing is myself. So, my first job is to figure out what the main thing is and have a meeting to discuss it with the team.

“I will also try to meet with Karen to find out what I can do to help her accomplish the main thing. I will work on developing a positive relationship with her as best I can.

“I know we need more focus,” I added. I’ve let the circumstances dictate our actions rather then our mission dictating our actions.

“I’m also going to try to answer your questions. I have to admit I really don’t think that I have to two open positions because of me, but I will open my mind to that possibility,” I concluded as we walked from the room.

As I left Tony’s house, I couldn’t get his words out of my mind: “What is the main thing? Why did two people resign? Why do you have all these fire drills?

I had some work to do before the next Monday Meeting.

What is the Main Thing?

•  People have different perceptions of what the main thing is.
• People quit people before they quit companies.