Signs of Conflicting Marriage/Relationship

Sometimes, people might scoff at the suggestion of couples counseling for conflict resolution. In many circles, counseling has a stigma attached to it. Attending counselling means admitting that things in your relationship need to be improved upon. On the surface, it seems that counseling for couples is best for those teetering on the verge of divorce, not for those who might have only a few problems.

However, if you wait too long before identifying a problem in your relationship, it can fester and burst. If you think you've hit a rocky patch in your relationship, counseling might help you and your loved one make it to the next stage of your relationship.

How's Communication?

The number-one sign you may need to see a counselor is that communication between you and your loved one is strained. How do you feel when you talk to your partner? Do you feel as if the conversation is exciting, or do you feel as if you are talking to a brick wall? Do you feel satisfied and believe your partner has listened to you, or do you feel frustrated or upset? Sometimes counseling can teach two people important communication skills that will help both their romantic relationship and their relationships with friends and family.

Evaluate how the two of you communicate in specific situations. Think about how you and your partner make both big and small decisions. How do the two of you decide where to go to eat? Does one of you make all or most of the decisions? And are you happy with that situation? A relationship should be an equal partnership, and you should feel as though you are an active member of this partnership.

After taking a look at your decision-making process, think about how you and your partner deal with disagreements. Are the two of you able to work through your issues, or do plates end up broken? Are doors slammed? If conflicts between you and your loved one lead to sudden explosions, you may need to find the time, space and reason to talk about the issues with a mediator before they boil over.

You and your partner may not have massive meltdowns, but don't assume that silence means that everything is peachy keen. When you and your partner no longer have things to talk about, then something might be wrong. Couples counseling can help two people reconnect.

If you don't have meltdowns and aren't giving each other the silent treatment, think about the individual words you and your partner use on a daily basis. Do you talk about the future with words like "us" and "we" or do you say "I" and "me"? The way in which a couple dreams of the future says a lot about where a relationship is going.

Matters of Trust

Think about what you do and do not feel comfortable telling your loved one. Worrying that your partner will judge you or laugh at you when you confide in them may be a sign of deeper problems.

Additionally, if you were having a bad day with a flat tire, a stain on your new shirt and a migraine, you should feel comfortable calling your partner for solace. Otherwise, you and your partner might need some outside help.

Cheating is also a sure sign that your relationship could use some outside assistance. Trust is the linchpin of most relationships: if you worry that your loved one has been unfaithful, this may be a sign that something is wrong. Additionally, if you or your partner is excessively jealous or possessive, think about what this means. Couples counseling may help keep the green-eyed monster at bay.

Other Warning Signs

A big sign that a relationship needs help is that the thermostat has been turned down in the bedroom. You and your loved one should consider couples counseling if things in the bedroom are boring or if you and your partner haven't been physically affectionate in quite some time. This isn't limited to sex. How often do you hold hands or exchange a goodnight kiss?

You may also want to contact a counselor if one or both of you feel bored or as if you are in a rut. Have you and your partner gotten into a routine that leaves little room for spontaneity? Do you still do special things for one another? If romance has left the building, couples counseling can help bring it back into a relationship.

-POI